Of all the new words...

We have delighted in hearing the new language emerging from Zach's mouth each day and some of the newest words in practice are Grandma (Judi), Grandpa (Howard), Ali, and Nana (Terry). But I think Natalie might like this anecdote the most:


Taking a bath tonight, Z lifts up a little mermaid diving toy and says--without warning and clear as day--"ARIEL!"

I guess it had to happen sometime.

A Strange Argument

Natalie: "Mooooom, can I go play now?"
Me: "No, honey. It's still rest-time."

She gave up naps, but I cling to the idea that she needs some quiet time during the day. I know I need it.

Natalie: "But Moooooooo-oooooom! I want to be done with rest-time. I want to play."
Me: "You can go play in the playroom quietly, but you can't stand here bothering me during my quiet time."
Natalie: "But you're standing and you can't rest while you're standing. You have to go lie down."
Me: "You're so right. I will go lie down right now."
Natalie: (playing with things in the kitchen)
Me (losing patience): "Natalie, you have a choice: you can go play quietly in the playroom or you can take a little nap, instead."
Natalie: "I think I'll take a little nap in the playroom."

How did that just happen? I'll never know. Of course, as I lie on the couch, listening to the relative silence of my house, I realize that she's not sleeping; she's playing quietly. But you know what they say about beggars and choosers.

I think it's a win-win...for now.

From the mouths of babes

Natalie: "Mama, we only talk about poop and pee when we're on the potty, right?"
Me: "Yes, sweetie."
Natalie: "But Daddy forgets about all the time."
Me: "He does?"
Natalie: "Yes, because he's super...silly. He's way silly."

My Day, in a Nutshell

Take kids to natural history museum. Gawk at animals and dino-skeletons. Notice that Zach is tugging at his right ear. Come home. Notice that Z's cough is way worse. Take him to urgent care 30 minutes before dinner time. Get turned away by closed sign. Do mental head-slap because we are at the wrong location. Drive 30 minutes to correct one. Wait an hour to be seen...with a tired, hungry baby. Entertain kid with Cheerios and favorite book. Have PA tell me that he has a virus or allergies, neither of which requires antibiotics. Begin the journey home. Spy the new warning "FUEL LEVEL LOW" on the dash. Curse under my breath. Ask Siri to find me a (damn) gas station. Listen to baby wail from the backseat as Siri is totally unhelpful. Text husband for location of nearby gas station. Acquire location immediately. Arrive at gas station. Cheer jubilantly at the low prices...only to have my card declined. Wonder about the status of my bank account after it was full this morning. Hear people sharing the news that the station is OUT OF GAS. WTH?! Curse again, not-so-silently, before getting into the car. Text hubby again with mounting frustration. Find a new gas station with low prices, only to have card troubles again. Rehash what I did to make karma hate me. Understand that it's the keypad on the pump, not a hostile bank takeover. Calmly re-enter my pin and wait. Fill up my tank. Sigh with relief. Play peek-a-boo with the surly kid in the backseat. Allow his laugh to soothe my weary soul. Head home. Get surprised by husband, who has fed our daughter and cleaned up the whole house--including the garage! Score! Survive bedtime routine. Savor Nana's homemade chili (made by moi!) and a glass of Sauvignon Blanc (not made by moi!).

Breathe.

Natalie absconded with my phone to take pictures. We'll encourage her to keep practicing.

This is the interior of a boat that might have sailed in California's waters long ago. Natalie didn't much care about that. She just cared that the guy who was eating at that table was dressed EXACTLY like Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.

In the too-full waiting room...with Cheerios, natch.

Startastic Picnic

Natalie: Mommy, we're gonna have a startastic picnic!
Me: What does startastic mean?
Natalie: It means you're on the moon, having a picnic!

Teachable Moment

Natalie awoke at 5:30 this morning complaining of a tummy ache. After questioning her, she told me that the only thing that would make her feel better was coming downstairs. We talked about the difference between the truth and a lie. Then she looked at me and said "Well, the truth is, I don't really have a tummy ache."

Calm Begets Calm

So I'm reading one of our myriad parenting books, and a phrase jumps out at me: calm begets calm. This is absolutely true, but sometimes you have to ride the wave of crazy to get to that promised land. During the ride, amidst wild, screaming tantrums, it's sometimes nearly impossible to maintain my cool. Hence, this simple phrase (which is absolutely true), isn't always simple. Fortunately, I keep reminding myself of the eventual payoff and will repeat this like a mantra to myself, especially on days like tomorrow when I have both kids all day long, all on my own.

(Is it bizarre that I still get a little nervous when I face 10+ hours outnumbered by them?)

Moody Monday

In the car, on the way home from school, we dropped by the library to return a DVD we borrowed and never watched. Natalie was nearly bereft, crying full out nearly all the way home. Here is a snippet from our conversation:

Natalie: Mama, don't talk to Zachary!
Me: Why? I like talking to Zach. He makes me laugh.
Zach: Hehehe.
Natalie: He makes me laugh, too. But I don't want to laugh. I want to cry.

And THIS is what it's like being the parent of a three year old.

Natalie-isms

Tonight at dinner...

Keith: "Natalie, do you like Lady and the Tramp?"
Natalie: "Yes, I like that movie so much that when I watch it, I go 'woonkirikeee'!"

Tantrums, tantrums EVERYWHERE

The day started off so nice: We played all morning; went to the park and ate a picnic lunch; came home a little late (due to all those trips down the slide) to take naps. Then it all unraveled. Natalie threw a massive fit. Would not put on her Pull-up. After warning her that we'd have no story if she kicked me again, she kicked me repeatedly. I had to stick to my word, but boy did that piss her off. I hadn't put Z down yet, so he was crawling around and I was having to run interference with both while she tore around the house slamming doors and screaming. I still haven't eaten lunch, but both kids are down for naps. Finally.

And I'm so proud of myself because I held it together BIG TIME. Like, I wish I had a film crew with me, as I was so zen and calm and SuperNanny-rific.

More from the Natalie files

Natalie had a piece of plastic Easter grass and was "measuring" the kitchen table this morning when I heard her murmur something about angles. I asked her to repeat it. She continued to measure and said, "This angle is about 30 degrees." Okay, so it was actually 90 degrees, but WHAT the heck does she know about any of that?! She is constantly surprising us.

Good Night Sleep Issues!

A friend recently messaged me on Facebook asking for advice on sleep for her baby. This isn't the first conversation I've had regarding this subject. In fact, over the past three years, sleep has been a constant thread of interest in our lives, as we went from deprivation (when our daughter was a baby), to times of plenty (when she started sleeping soundly), back to deprivation (with the birth of our son).

So, on the second night in a row when we have slept through the night with both kids, I feel that it's time for a major sleep post. This is a controversial issue, so please realize that my opinions are just that. They are, however, based upon a lot of reading, research, and observation of our two kids. Here is our journey to sleep...

First of all, my husband and I did not do CIO (cry it out) with either of our kids and are in firm belief that it isn't for us. We have tried to let our kids cry for a more prolonged period (over 5 minutes), but have only seen it yield bigger and more lusty screams.

When each child was ready, and you'll know from the sound of the crying/fussing, we would leave the room after putting them down a tiny bit awake. They'd usually cry just a bit and/or fuss and then go down within about 5-10 minutes. This is different from CIO because some of those methods espouse the idea that even if your child is freaking out, you need to stay away.  Okay, so that was part 1 of our experience. Then there were the night wakings...and those are still part of our reality with Z...when we'd hear them fuss and determine whether they needed us to intervene. Again, if we let it go past a certain point, they'd awaken themselves and be in a worse off state (as would we). Instead, we'd go in and replace the paci/soothe them back to sleep. These interventions waned to anywhere from 1-4 per night at about 5 months.

Here are some non-negotiables for us:

1. We have never slept with our kids or invited them into our bed, as this was always something our books warned against unless you co-sleep. If our kids need us, we go to them in the night (not the other way around).

2. Naps are KING around here. We work our schedule around napping at every opportunity. Per my extensive reading of sleep research, sleep deprivation is rampant in children in the U.S. and a major reason for this is lack of napping at a consistent time during the day. (A good indicator that your child is sleep deprived is if she is falling asleep every time he/she is in the car for a longer ride--after a certain age, of course!)

3. We allow our kids to have natural circadian rhythms. Natalie has always gone to bed around 7ish. Now that she's a bit older (almost 3), she goes to bed anywhere between 7:30-8:15. Z goes to bed between 6:30-7. They awaken between 6:30-7. While we cannot sleep in, it is their natural rhythm for sleep and we find that it is worth modifying our dinner and party plans. Plus, it gives us a bit of an evening together as a couple to chat and relax before we have to go to bed ourselves.

Here's the benefit of our modified "attachment parenting" nighttime style: a lot of our parent friends who did BabyWise and CIO style parenting during the infant stage have toddlers/kids who are very needy and crawl into bed with them. Natalie has slept through the night and like a ROCK STAR since she was about 14 months. It took her what seemed like forever to nap and sleep well, but we were consistent with our routines and the times we put her down and it helped tremendously.

We notice that by starting all that with Z early on, he's a MUCH better sleeper. He has been napping for 1.5-2.5 hours at a time since about 4 months. (That would have been a pipe dream for Natalie! She was a total "cat napper", sleeping for a total of 30 minutes during her longest naps. It would drive me insane and occasionally to tears!) He's also a pretty good night sleeper, although the first year is fraught with teething and developmental milestones which disturb sleep. Again, we are very responsive during the night and with the great results for our three-year-old, I have to think that there's something to the whole "attachment" thing. She feels more secure--always has--because her parents have always been there for her. Now when she wakes up, she realizes we're there for her if needed and she can go back to sleep on her own.

That's our sleep-story and I'm sticking to it.

The birds and the bees...a bit early?

Me: Natalie, remember when Zachary was in my tummy and I got in the bathtub with you? I was so big, I barely fit!

Natalie: Yes! But Zachary is not in your tummy anymore.

Me: No, he's not. I remember when you were in my tummy, too.

Natalie: (gives me a look of pure glee and tickled delight as she squeals happily) Yes. Zachary was in your tummy and I was in your tummy when I was a baby and Daddy was in your tummy when HE was a little baby.

Well, not quite.

Rain, Rain Go Away!

I love the rain. In fact, I'm usually the first to defend its honor to the thousands of sun worshippers with whom I'm friends. But after spending just an hour on an outing with both my baby and my toddler, I realize how lucky I am to live in Southern California.

(I will quickly point out to my friend Leen that she was brilliant to live in South Florida while her kids were little and THEN move to Oregon.)

Sleep!!!

Z got up ONE time last night.

Keith intervened.

Ergo...

I got a full night of sleep.

JUBILANT!!

Natalie-isms

Natalie held up her Cinderella water toy and proceeded to have this conversation with me.

Natalie: My Cinderelly is dirty!
Me: How'd that happen?
Natalie: The kitties did it. The kitties got Cinderelly all dirty.
Me: They did? How?
Natalie: With their kitty food.
Me: The kitties got Cinderella dirty with their food?
Natalie: Yes. It was not Daddy, and not me, and not Zachary, and not Mommy, and not Daddy (because he gets added twice in most of her monologues). It was Cleo and Bubba. (For the record, Tony is Bubba's actual name, but Natalie favors his nickname.)

Up late. Again.

I've been up with Z for 2.15 hours now. Finally, after doing everything on the list (diaper, nursing, comforting, holding), I left the room and let him cry for five minutes. Cry he did. Like SCREAM cry. But he's been so used to major intervention with this illness that I feel like I had to do something to reinforce the fact that he needed to sleep. When I went into his room after five minutes was up, I replaced his foof and left. He began to cry immediately (much to my dismay), but something miraculous happened. He stopped almost immediately. And hasn't started again! Impossible. I'm going to go take advantage of this while I can. Goodnight!

Keith's Weekend Away

So this weekend marks a milestone for me of sorts: Keith went away for the entire weekend with two of his buddies on a snowboarding trip to Mammoth and I'm alone with the kids. Well, kind of alone. In an act of selflessness, my mom came up for two of the days to help me out. (I love you Mom!) Really, I don't know what I would have done without her.

You see, this was just supposed to be like any other weekend, comprised of lazy mornings and hopefully a few play dates. I've done bedtime on my own before on many occasions, too, so juggling naps and bedtimes is not foreign to me (although it is still exhausting). What we didn't plan for was the plague. Or, to be more specific (and not quite as dramatic), Tripleearinfectionpalooza. That's right. Natalie and Zach got sick last weekend--I think that one was my fault, as I had symptoms first--and come Monday, I knew it would be prudent to go to the doctor as a preemptive strike. This was a good idea, but the execution was poor as the doctor proclaimed that they simply had bad cold viruses and there was nothing he could prescribe for them. Sigh. So I went to work the next day, called day care to see how they were doing (snotty, but fine), and thought we all were going to get better.

Oh how wrong I was.

Tuesday night, we were up all night with baby Z, comforting him as he coughed like a fog horn and nursing throughout the night (which I haven't done many months). Natalie awoke with a fever. I stayed home on Wednesday, hoping fervently that with the continuity of naps and some good old TLC from dear Mom they'd begin to take a turn for the better. Thursday came and respite seemed far away with two fussy, feverish kids. The impending weekend was looming, but I didn't want to go to the doctor to be reminded, "Lady, you were here on Monday. Did you think we were going to say something new and special today?" Alas, we stayed home and I nursed them like my life depended on it. When they went to bed fighting fevers, we knew we were in for it. Thursday night was just as bad as the previous two. Zachary was beside himself all night long. This fact alerted my primitive Mama-sixth-sense and come 8:00 A.M., I was on the phone with the pediatrician making an appointment.

Vindicated, I listened as Dr. Wu proclaimed what I already knew to be true: Natalie has an ear infection in one ear and Z has double infections that look incredibly nasty. Yup. Knew it. What I didn't know was how much Friday night would suck. And suck it did. Horribly. Viciously. Like, if my worst enemy planned a night to suck, he/she could not have made it any worse than last night. Here's the Reader's Digest version: I was literally up all night to tend to a very frustrated baby, getting only about 40 minute snippets of sleep (and those were the lengthy stretches!) at a time. Come 4:20 A.M., I could not get Z to relax in his own crib. My guess was that every time he lay down on his mattress, it was not raised enough to make the fluid in his head recede and resulted in a pounding sensation. We've all been there, right? So, being the CEO for the night, I made the executive decision to take him into my room so that I could comfort him while lying down myself. Within about 10 minutes, we were both asleep...and that's when I heard a high-pitched squeal/shriek of terror coming from Natalie's room. I awakened at about 5:15 and had to think quickly with a very slow, trudging mind. Figuring that it couldn't get much worse, I deposited Z in his crib as carefully as possible and went into Natalie's room. In a moment that was not my proudest, I bargained and threatened my way back to my room, recanting only for a moment to get her some Advil. I crawled back into bed for a whopping 30 minutes until I awoke to her crying again. This time, I felt horrible denying my little girl the love she was craving and I invited her into our room to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while I slept for another 20 minutes. Then Z woke up for the day and off I ran.

With 24 hours of antibiotics in them, I'm hoping for a night that's just a *tiny* bit better than last night. I'm having a glass of wine for courage. Wish me luck.

Medela has a voice

So for years, we've joked that my breast pump has a voice. My Medela motor makes a whirring and thumping sound that vaguely sounds like the word "whacko" chanted over and over. I have sometimes felt whacko over the 18 months I've pumped (13 for Natalie and the past five for Z) for my kids, both for buying a $250 pump and for going to extremes to make sure my kids have the immunity-building milk only my body can provide. What extremes, you ask? How about pumping every morning after nursing my son so that his increasing need can be matched by my dwindling supply. Or ducking out of an important meeting so that I can pump and stay on his nursing schedule for when we reunite at the end of the work day. But it's all worth it.

The other day, Natalie was in the room while I was pumping. I didn't think anything of it when she started chanting, "Wagon! Wagon!" at me. She frequently comes up with things out of left field, so I was prepared for whatever crazy and/or imaginative scenario her 2.5 year old mind was conjuring. But when I asked her what she was talking about, she gestured to the pump and said, "It's talking!"

Where we heard "whacko", she heard "wagon". Oh, what a beautiful, sweet little mind.

My daughter the comedienne

The things that come out of this girl's mouth ASTOUND us on a daily basis. Her usage and understanding of high-level vocabulary and advanced sentence structure aside, sometimes she's just hilarious. A few of her bon mots as of late...

January 25, before bed:

Me: "Natalie, you need to finish that cereal so we can brush your teeth." (in a cup she spied after her bath and HAD to have because she's going through some kind of lumberjack growth spurt)
Natalie: (smiles wanly and gives me a mischievous look while raising a single piece of cereal as slowly as possible to her lips)
Me: "I'm waiting." (I lean in to take the cup)

Natalie: (as she palms my forehead) "You need to get away your face from me."

January 23, right after Grandma's birthday dinner:

Keith: "Shhhhh! Natalie--let's play the Quiet Game."
Natalie: "Okay."
(quiet ensues for about 45 seconds)

Natalie: (whispering) "I wanna play the Loud Game."

January 16, while Daddy was making dinner:

Keith: "I'm going to make some yummy oatmeal this morning."
Natalie: "But I want eggs and sausage."
Keith: "Sometimes we eat healthier foods like oatmeal, so that's what I'm making."

Natalie: "That's a waste of time."

January 23, while driving home from Nana's house in San Diego:

Natalie: "It's very curious. Yes, curious."
Me: "What's curious?"

Natalie: "No. You do not say that word. I say that word. Don't talk to me. I'm talking to myself."

January 13, at home:

Natalie decided which Disney characters we all were tonight. Here's the break-down--
Natalie: Rapunzel
Mommy (Me): Aurora (Sleeping Beauty's real name)
Zachary: Prince Phillip

Daddy (Keith): Nemo

January 9, during one of Zach's naps:

Natalie: "My brother is crying! I need to go tend to him!"

January 8, on a nice Sunday morning:

Keith: "Natalie, what are you doing?"
Natalie: "Taking off my pants."
Keith: "I can see that, but why?"
Natalie: "Because it's not cold in here anymore."

January 4, during a quiet moment at home:

Me: "Natalie, we shouldn't be watching movies with Z-man because he's a baby and he really shouldn't be watching TV."
Natalie: "Okay, then we'll read some books. (pulls books from the shelf) These books. That's my plan. We have to be real quiet and we can't get up. Okaaaayyy?"

Two steps forward, one step back?

We had a great night on Friday, only to be stymied on Saturday. Sigh. Keith and I are feeling very mystified and discouraged after being awoken all night last night by a very frustrated baby. We tried everything (which is likely part of the problem), but nothing worked. Well, tonight is another night.

And in other unpleasant baby matters...

I remember a time when I could wear something for a short time--say, two hours--and then declare it "mostly clean", hang it up, and wear it again. I don't know when I'll ever see that time again, thanks to my projectile spitter-upper, Zachary.

Case in point:

(The liquid on the sweater is a voluminous amount of spit-up/breast-milk and the thing around my waist is a fab invention called the My Brest Friend. Every nursing mother should have one.)

Paci Wars

Who would have thought that something called a "pacifier" would be such a bone of contention in our house? Its very name connotes tranquility, harmony, QUIET. And yet, that has not been our experience...with either child. Until Natalie was about seven months old, we had to enter her room countless times during the night to replace the pacifier (or foof, as we came to call it). When she was finally old enough, we scattered three pacis in her crib for her to seek and find when she lost one. They were so treasured to her that she blew off the usual "lovies" like stuffed animals or a favorite blankie for foofs. She would even sleep with one in her mouth and one in each hand, like a little statue of Ganesh. We were smart, only allowing her to have her foofs at bedtime and nap times, but it was a bit rough-going to suggest that she wouldn't have her BFFs forever.

Fortunately, I read about a great idea: the "Foof Fairy" came and traded Natalie's pacifers for a bunch of really great gifts, including a Tinker Bell costume. While it was a bit of a rough transition, we were able to make it without too much fanfare or too many tears. I believe that's because we A) waited until after Zach was born to take them away, B) did it in a fun, playful way in which Natalie was excited to participate, and C) waited until Natalie was old enough to understand the permanence of the words gone, done, finito.

But now, we're facing an even dicier proposition. Sleep is more important to us now than ever, especially with my part-time work schedule. I need to be "on" during those days, for sure, but when I'm home with the kids, I also have to be patient and have the energy necessary for playing with a toddler and caring for an infant. Keith is running a school. It's definitely crucial for him to have mental acuity when he's at work. Zach didn't get this memo. He is a pretty good sleeper from about 7:00 P.M.-1:00 A.M. Then, the witching hours appear during which Z needs us to replace the foof, rock/bounce/shush him back down, or just stand with a quizzical look while he coos at us, totally awake at 3 A.M. We really hate that last one.

If you read what the sleep experts say, all humans have "partial awakenings" during the night. It's just that adults are used to them and can easily revert to that sleeping state, whereas babies are not accustomed to this yet. They need practice. And if you've given them a sleep crutch (such as a pacifier), they'll expect it every time they awaken. Joy. But our boy doesn't just stop there. When he awakens, we need superpowers to get him back down. Paci: check. Still crying/fussing. White noise: check. Still thrashing about like a tiny little guy on a huge island. Last resort swaddle: check. Now freaking out at being confined. At 2 A.M., we can't win. My husband and I have a strong suspicion that if the foof were absent, the partial awakenings wouldn't be so jarring.

Enter the "gentle removal program" from Elizabeth Pantley, an attachment theory researcher who wrote The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Pantley suggests that you gently remove the paci as soon as your child's suck begins to wane. In her words, this may take 2-10 or MORE tries. What fun! We've started it, but it's slow-going. I finally chucked the paci altogether last night and used white noise on high to soothe him while he fell asleep (still somewhat fearful that I'm going to blow out his eardrums, but whatever works wins). Using this method, he stays down for quite a few hours, but that 2 A.M. still rolls around and it's still heinous.

Keep calm and carry on, right?

Crock-Pot recipes are better the next day

DAMN are they better. Yum.

Oh, and Keith made roasted brussels sprouts to compliment my meal. They were phenomenal, too. Who would have thought that I liked brussels sprouts? That's a weird name for a food.

Brussels sprouts. Strange name, tasty vegetable.

Mel is cooking?

Yup. I intend to.

I found a recipe that looks easy enough, but it does require me to brown the entire roast before putting it in the Crock-Pot. I'm nervous about that, but a quick Google search calmed me. Doesn't look too tough. And I really REALLY like the fact that there are few ingredients. The fewer, the better in my book.

3 Envelope Roast recipe

Since I'm technically not working today, but we've already paid for the usual three days of child care, I'm able to do some things around the house. This is unusual without a toddler cruising around my feet or a baby asking for food/a diaper change/to be entertained. I'm pretty good at doing household chores with them around, but cooking is an entirely different matter. For some odd reason, I have an issue with the timing of recipes, even when I'm not being called off-task by my children. So with no kids, I really have no excuse. I'm totally going for it. Wish me luck.

So today, I'm thankful for my Crock-Pot. Thanks, Big Oven. I hope I can do you justice.

New Year's Resolution: Gratitude

So I haven't written in a really long time, probably because I have a lot going on. Having a toddler and a new baby in the house has created a time vortex around here. It seems that the second we get them down to sleep in the evening, we're either playing "whack-a-mole", running upstairs to comfort the baby repeatedly, or we're passing out ourselves from sheer exhaustion (caused by playing a very similar game of "whack-a-mole" all night long). So yeah, writing kind of takes a backseat. But I do want to record what's been happening so that I can look back on it and laugh someday. Really, that's all this blog is: a running commentary of things I find funny or sad or ridiculous intended for me (and occasionally my family) to reread in the future, often peppered with long tangents.

Now what was my point? Oh yeah, gratitude. A lot of people make New Year's resolutions to lose weight (I'm getting there, amazingly), become more organized (ha! with kids?!), or get more sleep (see "whack-a-mole" above). I think I'll make a resolution I can actually keep, as I've already had a little practice since the birth of our son. I'm going to resolve to be more

grateful for all of the incredible things in my life. Sure, I'm totally going to report the crazy things that happen and I'll probably be annoyed and even bitter every now and again, but for the most part, I want to spend 2012 awash in gratitude for the little miracles that have been bestowed upon us. Y'know, things like kids, good health, and convection toaster ovens.

Today, I'm marveling at the big things. My two spectacular children and the partner with whom I couldn't have done it.

(You might not be able to see it all, but my husband is decked out in flashy play jewelry. Yup. That's my guy. See what I'm saying? Grateful.)