Fortunately, I read about a great idea: the "Foof Fairy" came and traded Natalie's pacifers for a bunch of really great gifts, including a Tinker Bell costume. While it was a bit of a rough transition, we were able to make it without too much fanfare or too many tears. I believe that's because we A) waited until after Zach was born to take them away, B) did it in a fun, playful way in which Natalie was excited to participate, and C) waited until Natalie was old enough to understand the permanence of the words gone, done, finito.
But now, we're facing an even dicier proposition. Sleep is more important to us now than ever, especially with my part-time work schedule. I need to be "on" during those days, for sure, but when I'm home with the kids, I also have to be patient and have the energy necessary for playing with a toddler and caring for an infant. Keith is running a school. It's definitely crucial for him to have mental acuity when he's at work. Zach didn't get this memo. He is a pretty good sleeper from about 7:00 P.M.-1:00 A.M. Then, the witching hours appear during which Z needs us to replace the foof, rock/bounce/shush him back down, or just stand with a quizzical look while he coos at us, totally awake at 3 A.M. We really hate that last one.
If you read what the sleep experts say, all humans have "partial awakenings" during the night. It's just that adults are used to them and can easily revert to that sleeping state, whereas babies are not accustomed to this yet. They need practice. And if you've given them a sleep crutch (such as a pacifier), they'll expect it every time they awaken. Joy. But our boy doesn't just stop there. When he awakens, we need superpowers to get him back down. Paci: check. Still crying/fussing. White noise: check. Still thrashing about like a tiny little guy on a huge island. Last resort swaddle: check. Now freaking out at being confined. At 2 A.M., we can't win. My husband and I have a strong suspicion that if the foof were absent, the partial awakenings wouldn't be so jarring.
Enter the "gentle removal program" from Elizabeth Pantley, an attachment theory researcher who wrote The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Pantley suggests that you gently remove the paci as soon as your child's suck begins to wane. In her words, this may take 2-10 or MORE tries. What fun! We've started it, but it's slow-going. I finally chucked the paci altogether last night and used white noise on high to soothe him while he fell asleep (still somewhat fearful that I'm going to blow out his eardrums, but whatever works wins). Using this method, he stays down for quite a few hours, but that 2 A.M. still rolls around and it's still heinous.
Keep calm and carry on, right?
