Clumsiness
First off, let me start by saying that my friends and family will tell anyone who listens that I am one of the clumsiest people in the human race. I once hurt myself by stabbing my face with a hanger while putting clothes away and most of my broken bones were without good reason. For me to talk about a higher level of clumsiness, it has to be fairly significant.
Fortunately, my clumsiness seems limited to fluids for the time being. In fact, it allowed me to spill four beverages in one week. The first two were pretty tame: water glasses knocked over at my bedside—a common mistake for normal, non-pregnant people I’m sure. The second two, however, were absolutely grandiose. We’re STILL cleaning up from them. Here they are in all of their gloriousness.
Spill #1: Fruit Punch Slider
To make drinking the vast amount of water I need more palatable, I purchased several boxes of Crystal Light individual packets. During this action-packed lunch, I proceeded to mix my drink and take one sip before sweeping the glass three feet into the air. As the red liquid floated gracefully in the air (this was one of those slow-motion moments), I cringed and accepted my fate. Thank GOD I had a fellow teacher whose wife is two months more pregnant than I am in the room. He was more than happy to help me to sop up the mess and didn’t even laugh. This is a man who completely understands.
Spill #2: Diet Pepsi Explosion
This second event was even more dramatic and inexplicable than the first. I went out to get one soda—ONE soda—from the garage. As I took the five short steps over our tile entryway from the garage door to our family room carpet, the mutinous Diet Pepsi slipped from my hand and, much like a cat, landed squarely on its “feet”. Here’s where the feline analogy ends. While a cat lands on his or her feet and is saved from a quick and certain death, my Pepsi was not so lucky. Apparently, a can explodes on impact.
I think it would still behoove us to call CSI crew to help us find the extent of the damage. Soda splashed up both front doors, into the plantation shutters in the foyer, over the banisters and stairs, up all neighboring walls, and into the family room carpet. In addition, my clothing needed immediate laundering. After some choice expletives, my husband calmly provided the same service, fetching multiple rags and, without condescending or laughing, helped me clean up the massive mess.
