Monday, December 21, 2009

Grammar Rant

It's the holiday season and that's the usual time for apostrophe nonsense. As such, I'm here to set those offenders straight. Yes, it's snarky, but I'm an English teacher at heart and feel the need to make our fellow Americans look smarter, if at all possible.

Apostrophes are used for various purposes, but most often to indicate a contraction (as in don't for do not) or ownership (Is that Sharleen's sweater?). Recently, I've been noting that people are using contractions broadly to indicate several of something. Please note that apostrophes are NEVER used to make a noun plural, including last names. See my examples of correct apostrophe usage below and feel free to use this rule all year long.

Apostrophes used in ownership
We're going to Melanie Carmona's house for dinner.
OR
We're going to the Carmonas' house for dinner. (note that since there are several Carmonas, I've attached an apostrophe to the end)

We're not going to Tiger Woods' house because he was a philandering idiot and now is facing an ugly divorce. (note that since Tiger's last name naturally ends in an s, I've added an apostrophe at the end to indicate he owns his house. This is more common than the Chicago style of adding an apostrophe s, but that is technically correct, as well)
OR
We're not going to the Woodses' house...

Correct use of plurals
Merry Christmas from The Carmonas!
The Carmonas wish you a Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas! Love, The Carmonas

OR

Merry Christmas from The Woodses! (I know that looks weird, but it's technically correct. If you don't like that option, you can do this: Merry Christmas from The Woods Family)